Shedding Skin
By
Carissa Sinclair
All her shoes
were on the ground; stained boots and sandals and slippers. There were ruined
white sports socks, ruined jean hems. Maybe it was walking up hills or breaking
in new boots. It hurt like hellfire. She
had a spread of oversized blisters on her heels; raw bloody matter and the
faint white of bone.
It was just
bleeding everywhere. One ankle had sprung out into an open faucet. She was
sitting up on her bed and the blood just kept springing out. Blood on the
duvet, in her underwear, on her big white t-shirt too.
She bent one knee into her chest; held
the badly bleeding heel into her hands. She wavered a large thumb over the open
part of the wound. She knew what she had to do. This was the ultimate scab, she
told herself. This was the ultimate thread to pull and unravel.
Photo from www.luxedb.com |
She slowly
inserted her thumb into the wound. It went in a full inch before she hit the
most tender flesh. She flinched. The knee jerked into her chest. She steadied
herself, then continued inserting her forefinger, followed by her middle
finger.
The pain was a
sick pleasure. Her eyes were smarting tears. She got a full hand inside the
pocket of her skin. Blood coated her wrist. From outside her room she could
hear the front door clicking open and a couple of voices from the kitchen.
The bite had
come. She clenched her teeth and pulled down. It was persistent. It wouldn't
budge. Then slowly the heel bone gave way and tore through the skin. Her tarsal
bones broke out. A bag of pulpy muscle burst over the duvet. She let out a cry.
There was a
knock on her door and her flatmates entered the room. It was a murder scene.
Julia, peering over Todd's shoulder, broke into hysterics. What the fuck is
happening, I'm calling for help, fuck I'm calling an ambulance.
Todd was calmer though. He approached
her tentatively. He sized up the skeletal system of her foot that she had
started to tear free. He gently gagged before he held out a limp hand. Are you
okay, Ginny? What is happening? His voice was caution and fear and repulsion.
And yet, he understood her; he knew that she was up to something important.
I'm just
getting rid of all this fucking skin, she said very softly, stoically. She
continued to dig with her hands to find the edge of skin sleeve behind her
ankle. When she had a two-handed grip she tore the skin right up the calf
muscle.
Todd threw up.
In the
ambulance, the doctor and nurse allowed her to continue. She managed to get her
two legs and pelvis structure free. Ligaments and clumps of muscle were still
attached to her bones. Arteries strung around her in ribbons, well-bled and
deflated. As she tore up her belly her small intestines fell out. The nurse had
a huge white plastic bag to collect them. The nurse helped her deposit her
stomach and kidneys and other free organs. She slid her arms out of her skin
and pulled it up above her shoulders. She was able to detach her breasts from
her ribcage. She was beginning to breathe a bit better now. She could even see
her heart beating pathetically.
She inspected
the doctor on the other side of her. The doctor was filling out a form,
occasionally asking a question. Would you like me to contact your family? Not
just yet, she said and the doctor nodded. They seemed way too understanding.
Why haven't you stopped me from what I'm doing? The doctor heard her whisper
and looked at her somewhat sadly. You know eventually that you'll have to get
back into a skin once again? She was surprised at the comment but then gave a
nod. Can I choose a skin that fits me better? The doctor gave a nod back.
She finally
removed her scalp and shed herself completely. Her skin looked sad and grey on
the plastic floor. Something to be placed in the ‘Lost and Found’. It felt nice
sitting in the back of the ambulance with the nice doctor and nurse. She gently
rapped the tips of her phalanges against her cranium. Then she opened her lower
jaw and her tongue slid out. It bounced along the floor like a dumb goldfish.
Good riddance. She stuck her fingers in her rib cage and relieved an awkward itch.
No comments:
Post a Comment